ONE QUESTION TOO MANY

Curiosity Has Its Drawbacks

With bad news coming at me like water out of a firehose, this American needs comic relief.  Thank goodness my friend, George, relayed a story that had me laughing so hard, I was bawling.  His story is followed by a situation I got myself into by being too nosy.  Enjoy! 

Ever wish you had not been so nosy?  Ever kicked yourself for asking a question because you were not prepared for THAT answer?  The professionals in these two stories can laugh about it now.  But, as it was happening, they did not know how to respond to the answers.

HE’S DEAD AND YOU OWE ME MONEY!

My friend is a financial planner and he told me the following story:

I had a client named Ralph who was one of the meanest men I have ever met.  He bought life insurance and used my firm for his pension plan.  One night I got a call.  It was unusual for me to get a call at home.  I answered the phone and said "George XXXX here."  The caller said, “this is Mrs. Ralph XXXX!"  I asked "what can I do for you Mrs. XXXX?"  She yelled, "you owe me money!"  I asked "and how do I owe you money?"  She answered "Ralph had life insurance with you, right?  He's dead and you owe me money!" 

I tried to show a little sympathy and asked "how did he die?"  She yelled "he was yelling at me and he grabbed his chest and fell on the floor and died!  He's dead and you owe me money, right?"  I asked, "was it a heart attack? what did the doctor say?"  She answered, "I haven't called the doctor!" 

Suddenly, I had this image in my head that he was lying there on the floor and instead of calling 911, she was waiting until he was cold dead!  Why, oh why, did I ask that last question?  By the way, I did owe her money: $1 Million in fact!

POCKET KNIVES CAN KILL

When this writer first opened my law practice, I would sometimes meet new clients at 5 or 6 PM after the secretaries and other attorneys had gone home.  One evening I met with a man in his 30s to discuss bankruptcy.  The court requires information about the debtor’s last four years of income.  I noticed he listed zero income, so I asked him why.  He answered that he had been in prison for manslaughter after “accidentally” killing his best friend with a pocketknife.  His best friend?  Geez, I would hate to be his enemy.

My brain was envisioning a small pocket knife, that every little boy carried when I was growing up.  How could one kill a man with THAT?  The bankruptcy court would not be interested in the answer to the following question, but my curiosity got the better of me:  “How could your friend die from being stabbed with a little pocket knife,” I asked.  With that, he slowly pulled a pocket knife out of his jeans pocket and proceeded to demonstrate, on his own neck, how he poked his friend, hitting his carotid artery.

Why, oh why, did I ask him this question?  I spent the rest of the appointment wondering if he was going to use that pocket knife on me.  The next day I told my secretary to never schedule any after-hours appointments.